The Conelab render of my sona, Mono, depicted in the style of PRIZM, made by XQwizzie. An anthropomorphic fat moth (made out of cake) with two sets of wings behind him and a seemingly chitinous leg structure. He has large antennas and a detailed halo behind his head. He is floating in front of a circus tent and curtains, a hand outstretched to the viewer.

Two and a half months ago, I made a long post in the aftermath of a ton of bullshit that rattled me pretty hard within the tourney community and ultimately convinced me I needed to find happiness elsewhere. Though I’ve had time to reconcile and settle down (and I believe I have done so as best I can), I still hold that many of the points I’ve made in it stand; the community is absolutely healing, as I’ve talked about here, but I have been finding the happiness I was looking for elsewhere and, while I’ve still had struggles, I feel like I’m healing as well. I wanted to make this to talk about my experiences, what I’m still pushing through, and run back some of what I’ve spoken on before.

Beyond my most recent SoundCloud post, a mashup I made as part of a trade with Consy (see the image above for the stellar work he did on a render of me), I still have no interest in making any new mashups unless an exciting enough opportunity presents itself to get me to go back on my word entirely. While I still have no interest in contributing to mashup tournaments in a major capacity, or making my own, I realize I have a ton of old mashup project files full of scrapped content and forgotten files that I’m willing to polish and share, and have been occasionally booting up Ableton to do so. I never intended to leave the community in full; as I have been, I’m open to the spaces in the community that will have me, and if there’s a need for any second opinions with regards to mashup QOC, or any desperation for pulls in a source I know, my DMs are always open to my friends.

I’ve been hopping on Toontown: Corporate Clash more often recently, and, as I tend to, I’ve always been down to play some heavily modded Minecraft if there’s ever a server open (or a widespread enough desire to make one); if you’re interested in either, either in the tourney community or at large (if a friend from Resonite or Roblox is reading this), please let me know.

Besides this, I suppose I wanted to speak at length about how things have been for me, where I’ve been going, and what I’ve been seeing since I made the changes in my online life that I have.

On the tourney community (and being Mono)#

I’m sure I spoke about it in my last post already and I’m going to speak on it again here in more detail, but things have been going incredibly in the community the past few months. I never cared greatly for Scary Rosters (and Nice Tracks) (SoundCloud link) myself, but the amount of pop that project got from the side of the community I saw was stellar. SRaNT was seeing itself through to completion while a lot of the bullshit in the greater community was happening, and ultimately, it was a beacon of light that reinforced that things were going to be good. In the past, likely before writing the article, I fallaciously saw moving away from the tourney community as fleeing a sinking ship; while I felt I wouldn’t have a home there, one I’m glad to not feel as cramped in anymore for sure, there’s still a lot of love to be given for sure, love that we’re seeing in action right now.

I’ll speak on the Mashup Tournament Wiki as well; while I was more committed to the community, I put a chunk of effort into the TINTN pages that I cared enough about, and I’m incredibly glad to see that the wiki has become as important of a resource as it seems to be in the modern day. In all honesty, this is something I was dreaming about seeing in some form since I got to the community, but was simply not passionate about to start up; for someone like me who has struggled to follow a lot of projects, having all of this in one place is a godsend. I’d love to see more ways to centralize these feeds when it comes to tourney news; I feel like if I cared more about mashup tourneys as they are, I’d be happy to start an RSS feed (or a Bluesky account, if I didn’t hate the service) and be a news anchor for that sort of content, but I don’t think I could without a team behind me. (If there is an interest in a curated feed for mashup tourney news, or if one is in the works, please let me know; I’ll happily help the cause.)

I’d also like to shout out the recent rounds for The Game (YouTube link) and Mashup Week: Megamix (YouTube link) that have been happening, as I’ve been hearing a lot of pop about the both of those. I’ve been seeing much of the pop behind both projects, especially the former, though the latter is obviously one of the biggest projects still around in the community and always worth mentioning; there’s room no matter your skill or investment, of course, but the ceilings are constantly being shattered here to this day.

Obviously, there’s much to praise about the works, but what’s mattered more to me personally is the people in them. I’m grateful to still be around the place; I couldn’t imagine just disappearing out of the blue, even if I’ve moved on in some capacity already. When I started typing this section up, I imagined that there’d be more to talk about in this department, but I realize there really isn’t much; I just remember feeling horrible about my presence in the community in the past, something I don’t nearly feel as bad about nowadays; there’s a lot of good going around. I have no intent of leaving my friends behind.

On picking up Resonite (and being O-N)#

All that said about being glad I’m still around in the tourney community, the best thing that ever happened to me was actually stepping out of it for once.

I discovered Elysium, the Resonite-based virtual casino, not long before things went down in the tourney community. Being there has been incredibly fun and the community has been a refreshing break from my fears of both hopping on a social VR platform in general and also hopping on Resonite in particular; I don’t feel at all like the odd one out who has never built anything in my life, in part because there are a lot of people who were like me and also because everyone felt so much easier to approach in a sort of space like this, as opposed to the many worlds full of people where things just felt scary as someone who had barely dipped their toes into the platform. It’s the community responsible for not only getting me out of my shell on the platform socially, but also eventually leading to me getting the inspiration to create on here, as I was checking in more often just to hop on Elysium and route to other worlds from there (with one such excursion ending up with me running into yosh, who I’ve obviously seen semi-frequently around since), and slowly learning to create by piecing things together. It still remains an almost nightly stop for me these days, as I’ve found friends there and ultimately found a real place on the platform from that.

As a creator, I know the one thing stopping me from making more is my motivation, especially given the state I’m in when I hop on the game. When I have needed help, the people I’ve met on Resonite have been glad to give it; there are few barriers to creation with a community this kind, I just know I have my personal woes and do my best to not struggle so heavily in that. I’m nevertheless glad that I’ve been able to make the little trinkets and avatar features I have, as it’s helped me learn the platform slowly and hopefully make things of more substance. As a user, my main personal struggle has been the physical drive to put on my VR headset, as it’s not been a great platform for me at present, regrettably. Beyond that, it can understandably feel impossible to socialize at times, especially for someone like me who already struggles to converse with people, and I know I’ve been aching for that a bit at times. When things on this platform go well, however, they go incredibly well, leaving me with a night to remember.

I think there are a few things to shout out about this platform here. Chief among them is obviously Elysium; beyond that, I think the number one thing I need to shout out is Resonite’s own Block Party, which they hosted for their second anniversary. Going around and collecting stamps (YouTube link) led me to run-ins with all sorts of people, both those I already knew and those I had just met for the first time, and also granted me another chance to visit one of my favorite things on the platform: the open world of LIMINAL, an immersive live performance hosted within Resonite where you get to explore a beautiful dreamscape and interact with its denizens, both other audience members and the people leading the charge. It’s rarely open these days, but if you’re ever on Resonite, I highly recommend checking it out. Beyond these, there are a ton of worlds to explore and trinkets to play around with; if ever you’re worried that you’ll feel out of place on Resonite because you aren’t technically inclined or can’t/don’t want to program, keep in mind that there are so many veterans who are just happy to show you what they’ve made, and show you some things to explore on your own.

If I know you from another community, I’d be happy to see you on Resonite, as well; I’ve been compiling some worlds to show off to those interested, and would otherwise enjoy the company and peers while I try to make things myself.

I thought I’d have more to say, but I don’t#

Save these two spots, I’ve been as active on Roblox as I normally am (even if I acknowledge it’s a horrible place to be overall as it stands); some months ago, I found Cornerstone Arcade on the platform and it was my home on these for a while. I enjoy some of the more niche communities on the platform, so I’ve always found something to keep me entertained; not long ago, I pressed the endgame on The Difficulty Upgrade Tree: Regrown, which took me less time than I thought it would and is ultimately something I’m very proud of. A friend of mine I reconnected with some months ago was my introduction to Gears, which I definitely want to play more of when I get the attention span for it back. I don’t think me continuing to follow Roblox is that surprising, especially since I exist in a community with a lot of dedicated Roblox players (including Enoderen, who’d go on to contribute to multiple huge games on the platform), even if I never end up playing the same games that these groups tend to. It’s alright; I’m happy where I am.

Save Toontown and modded Minecraft as I mentioned earlier, even those phases have only lasted a few days as of the time of me writing this, I’ve otherwise been pretty content where I am. I suppose that’s what I wanted to get through with this; life is better now. I’ve got friends, a place to be, and I’m happier for it. I hope all those who need it can find it, too.