intimacy via jankiness

this website

if you’ve known me for any amount of time, then you probably know that I love to shell script. shell scripts are janky. shell is a weird language. shell has many caveats, ranging from the simple-yet-often-overlooked quoting all your variables to the cvs receipt length monster that is the bash pitfalls page (though, only a subset of these apply to POSIX shell, the dialect that I like to use).

so why do I like writing it so much? why do I use systems that are built on the foundation of shell scripts, like void linux?

the truth is, I really don’t know. it feels weirdly intimate for me--learning all the little quirks and sidesteps for something as complex and unintuitive as shell. it’s incredibly effective when used right, and something I’ve internalized enough that I build this site with one shell script. I write most of this site manually, and implement “include templates” by inserting <!--RES f=<file> --> on a line, probably much to the agony of people like cendyne or xe

* update from the future: I’ve refined this to be a much more robust system. more about that in… a future blog! when I release it I’ll link it here

* update 2 from the future: here you go!

but I do it because it’s fun. it makes me feel nice. I like writing my site like this, even if it means dealing with a bit of jankiness. at least the jankiness comes from me

celeste

I really like the game celeste. I think it has the best movement system of any 2d platformer, ever. this might strike as an odd inclusion in this post--something this refined and fluid in a post about jankiness. it’s not about the base game, but about the huge modding scene

it’s incredible how many custom maps exist for celeste. all-time classics like glyph shine even today; collabs like strawberry jam push the bounds of modding ever more

those aren’t the mods I want to talk about

the hardest achievement I have accomplished in the game, and what remains as one of the hardest achievements done in modded celeste, is obtaining the golden strawberry for strawberry hunter while collecting every strawberry, a challenge so infamous for being long and “jank” that I got $70 for doing it

I’ve made a name for myself in the celeste community by doing these “jank” maps. stuff like floating oil rig full clear gold or etselec max% remain unmatched as of the time of writing this post (edit: spki got floating oil rig fcg on 21 july 2023. congrats to them!). maps considered “out there” are sometimes labeled “yoshi maps”, something I find quite funny

again, I don’t know why I have that draw. it’s the same thing as I said before--the learning of every little intricate detail, workaround, and strategy for mastering a map like that makes me feel good, an achievement I hold more dear than, say, if I got 7DG or whatever

music

as I write this post, I am listening to all of life’s mysteries, by renard, now known under the all-encompassing halley labs

it’s no real secret that I like lapfox. there’s a little picture of renard in the bottom right of this site, in fact. throughout the years, emma essex has done wonders to their music, refining the intricate details of their sound design with each release

but again, I find myself drawn towards the early works

I’m not talking about all-time classics like this place will grow ep, which is probably my favorite release ever. I’m talking really early, such as, as mentioned before, all of life’s mysteries. the level of sound design pales in comparison to modern albums. that’s not to say there aren’t hints of experimentation there--the chop patterns are pretty damn good; sound design and pattern composing seep out in tiny bits in tracks like worth more than 40 seconds, and I think that’s what I love about the album

it’s the amateurish sound that I enjoy, a sound that I loosely dub “the sound of experimentation”. it’s the sound of someone trying something, even if it may be jank in retrospect. that’s the kind of sound that I like, and it’s the same thing that reflects in the other two sections of this post